So, you have finally found a man that makes you feel good. He is your person. And the sex is amazing. But he feels emotionally detached. And you want something more than just casual sex. Naturally, you are asking yourself, can a man sleep with a woman without developing feelings? Can he be into this sexual relationship just for sex?
Well, it is possible for a man to sleep with a woman without emotional feelings. Sometimes, men can sleep with a woman for years without having any feelings for her. Every man is different.
In order to answer the above question, we have to define several things. Let’s go.
What Exactly Is Casual Sex?
How do you define casual sex? First, let’s define sex, no qualifier attached. The easiest and simplest definition of sex is “any meaningful act of pleasure”. That includes hand staff like hand job, mouth play like oral sex and blowjob, sex toy use, and kissing.
Casual sex can be defined as any act of pleasure with one or more people that are free from any strings, expectation of commitment, and/or exclusivity. So, as you can see, you might have casual sex with feelings, but without the label of exclusivity.
For some people, casual sex is the act of sexual intercourse happening with someone you meet at a bar or on an online application and online dating site. For others, casual sex feels like an accurate descriptor of their friends with benefits dynamic.
Why Do Men Put Women in Friendzone And Sleep With Them?
Yes, women get friend-zoned as well. But the difference is men will sleep with any woman even though they have put her in the friend zone.
The social norm and thinking is that “women are selective, but men are opportunistic when it comes to dating and relationships”. Men are always up for sex.
Remember, we live in a patriarchal Western culture that values dominant masculinity. Stories usually show men pursuing women and trying to renegotiate the relationship. Yes, men are vastly more likely to get in the friend zone.
It is also interesting to note that casual sex with a friend is something men and women view differently. Yes, some men see sex as a way to feel emotionally closer to their partner. But more of them see sex as more of an act of sexual desire without any emotion. The thing with emotion is love-making, not sex.
So, when women friendzone women, they can enjoy the sex act without getting emotionally attached.
Yes, it is manipulative of men to sleep with women they know they don’t want a romantic relationship with. But that is the world we live in.
How To Get Him Emotionally Attached?
Can you get a man emotionally attached? Can you move out of the “friends with benefits zone” and into a healthy relationship with catching feelings and emotions? Well, there is something you can try. Here are they.
Show Him That You Care
Women usually do not fall for too caring men. That makes them look desperate. But men love to see a caring woman. Show him you care and he might change his opinion about you.
Make Him Feel Special
If you play your cards right, even the toughest man can get emotionally attached to you. Men fall in love faster than women. If you want to make him fall for you, make him feel special.
Make Him Emotionally Safe
One of the reasons why men do not get emotionally attached is they are afraid. They are afraid you might hurt their feelings. He might work his macho mindset and macho persona. But all he really likes is to feel emotionally safe.
Show him he can open up to you.
Accept Him For Who He Is
This is one of the biggest mistakes women make. They try to change their man. And naturally, no man wants someone who will change him. So they hide their feelings. Embrace him for who he is and love him like that. Over time, he will show his feelings as well.
Tease Him And Make Things Playful
You can make a guy fall in love when you tease him and flirt with him. Send him a flirtatious text message. Show some cleavage. There are many ways to tease a guy. The key is to keep things playful and tasteful.
Even if you send him a hot picture at night, he will keep thinking about you until the morning.
Play Hard To Get
Men love to chase a woman. The trick is to play hard to get, but not too much. You do not want him to give up. It is the oldest dating trick in the book for sparkling sexual attraction and physical attraction. But it is a risky move if you overdo it.
Avoid The Friends With Benefits Trap
This is the hardest challenge you might face. Once you start sleeping with someone just for sex, it is hard to get out of the arrangement. Can a man sleep with a woman without developing feelings? Yes. But can you? Or do you want something more?
Once you start hooking up, sex is the only thing on his mind. You have set the stage for a “friends with benefits relationship”.
How can you get out of it? By making him work for sex. He is trying to get you in bed, and by doing that he will start making an extra effort. Or he might give up. But at least you will get out of the trap either way.
Do Guys Develop Feelings After A Hook-up?
There are situations when guys catch feelings after a hookup. Whether they do depends on several things:
- How easily they get attached
- Frequency of the hookups
- Current relationship status
Of course, there is the underrated factor of sex. How good is your sex life? Is it more of a physical than emotional sex?
Pros and Cons of Casual Sex
There are obvious benefits to casual sex. But there are also downsides. You have probably seen movies like No Strings Attached and Friends with Benefits. Those might make you believe casual sex is bad. But there are positive.
For starters, casual sex is a great way for people to get their physical touch and needs and sexual fix. It appeals more to those who are not interested in a committed monogamous relationship.
And a healthy committed relationship is time-consuming. Some people do not have the time and availability to commit to one.
Another bonus of casual sex is the thrill, excitement, and endorphin-rush that comes with pleasure and lust.
On the flip side, casual sex is usually less pleasurable than lovemaking in an ongoing relationship. Yes, in the beginning, casual sex looks wonderful and fun. But having sexual intercourse with feelings is a whole new level.
The biggest downside is that it can often lead to disappointment when one of the partners agrees to such a dynamic in an effort to persuade the other to a committed relationship. But it doesn’t work that way.
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Is It For You?
This is a question only you can answer. And to get the truth, you have to ask and answer several questions. Here are those:
- Do I want to be in a no-strings-attached sexual relationship?
- Do I have someone in mind for a casual sex encounter?
- What draws me to this person?
- Why do I want to have casual sex?
- Can I set any boundaries to make the encounter as pleasurable as possible?
- Can casual sex help with my confidence?
- What about STD and safe sex practices?
The most important thing is to discuss boundaries before you get into a “friends with benefits relationship”. If you get in with shared expectations, you will not be disappointed.
And of course, figure out a sex frequency that works for you. Otherwise, you will be disappointed.