So you caught your boyfriend watching porn. Are you confused about why is that happening? Do you wonder what does it mean for your romantic relationship? Perhaps you are wondering if you should be upset about it. Questions like should I be upset that my boyfriend watches porn pop up in your head. Well, let’s start from the beginning.
Watching porn is a normal thing. We no longer consider pornography a taboo topic. Let’s discuss some of the reasons why your boyfriend watches porn. And what you can do about his porn usage.
What Is Digital Infidelity?
While the dictionary hasn’t changed the definition of cheating, our interactions with people have changed. These days, people do not look at cheating as sleeping with someone else. In any healthy relationship, both parties have to have the same basic definition and principles. So, in the modern world, digital infidelity is something that has come up.
And many people struggle to define what digital infidelity is and what constitutes it. So, let’s take a look at some examples.
Sexting
Sexting someone other than your partner is cheating. And that is that. Physical and emotional intimacy you have with your partner belongs just between the two of you. That is unless you are in an open relationship.
When you send sexy texts, you are on a slippery slope before actually going all the way into a physical affair.
Sending DM’s
We all comment and like on Facebook, Instagram, and similar social media networks. But once your likes and comments move into a private chat, you can become more intimate.
In that spirit, if the subject of your DMs is sexual, you are having a digital affair. It is a prelude to cheating.
It is all about intent. Is your intention to strike up a flirtatious conversation?
Following Attractive People And Celebrities On Social Media
Some people might get angry about doing this. But we all follow celebrities and hot models on social media. Following people you do not actually know in person is common. And digital experts do not consider that cheating. It is no different than reading a sexy article or smiling at an attractive person you walk by.
Watching Porn On Your Own
Speaking about porn, yes, watching internet porn on your own without your partner knowing is cheating. On the flip side, if your partner knows and you are both OK with it, then it is not a problem.
But if your partner finds out from anyone else than you, they will feel uncomfortable and insecure. You have betrayed their trust.
Watching porn can sometimes become a substitute for sex or stimulation.
Is Porn Acceptable To Watch?
A lot of men and women watch internet porn. There is no denying it. There seems to be less hiding of it. People have a different views on this topic. And who is to say your view or some other person’s view is wrong or right?
At the end of the day, this question shows how open you are with your sexuality. There is nothing inherently wrong with checking a porn website.
Porn itself is not bad. Yes, there are things wrong with how the porn industry functions and from the types of porn movies the industry makes. But porn in its pure form can be arousing, erotic, and intimate.
What Should You Do?
The first thing you should do here is to not take it personally. You are probably worried he is more attracted to the actresses than you. Do not be. The simple act of watching a porn movie has nothing to do with his feelings about the committed relationship.
Try To Compromise
A lot of people view porn as a black and white issue. It is not. The truth is somewhere in the middle. Ask your boyfriend to watch porn only when he is alone.
You can try and set some guidelines that he cannot turn down your sexual initiation to watch porn. Speaking about talking and communicating with your partner, we will get to that later on.
Do Not Get Upset
The question is should I be upset that my boyfriend watches porn. There is no one-fits-all answer here. People trying to tell you should or shouldn’t are wrong.
At the end of the day, it is your decision. You should allow yourself to feel what you feel. Do not let anyone else’s opinions dictate your feelings.
There is nothing wrong with feeling upset about his porn consumption. If it is something that upsets you, it is fine to get upset. And no, it is not strange for you to feel upset.
But what you should remember is that you are not the problem. Talk to your boyfriend about his porn addiction.
How To Communicate With Your Partner?
Communication is the single most important part of solving any issue in a romantic relationship. Porn is no longer a taboo topic.
Now the harsh truth. Telling your boyfriend about what you think of him watching porn will not affect his actions much. He might think it is not your business. He might find you jealous. And it might end up in a confrontational argument.
You need to make sure to talk to your boyfriend in an open and comfortable environment. Speak about how watching porn makes you feel.
Surprise alert: in his mind, he believes it is nothing serious. It is just a porn video every now and then. What damage can it do? You can try and have an honest conversation about the topic.
And see where you can improve the committed relationship so that he doesn’t watch porn as often as he does.
Talk To A Sex Therapist
If all else fails, you can always talk to a sex therapist about your husband and his sexual behavior.
A sex therapist can help you improve sexual desire and affection in the relationship. There is nothing wrong with some therapy. At the end of the day, you want to improve your sex life.
Is Your Man A Porn Addict?
The porn industry is a multibillion-dollar industry. And will always. Sadly, some people get addicted to porn. Why? Because porn gives us the hit of sexual stimulation and physical pleasure. And it is quick and easy with almost zero effort.
If you want to know if your guy is a porn addict, talk about the relationship. How is your relationship? Are the two of you distant? Or do you still enjoy great sex? Do you have a healthy relationship? If the answer is yes, your man is probably looking at porn and masturbation as a quick stress relief method.
You will still get sexual satisfaction when the two of you get in the sack.
