Are you worried your husband doesn’t find you attractive anymore? Do you lie awake wondering whether this is your fault? Can you do anything to fix it? Well, you can, and it is not your fault. First, we have to go over the signs your husband doesn’t find you attractive. And then, we can talk more about what you can do about it.
We will help you understand male psychology and their so-called hero instinct . This psychological trigger has a huge effect on how men feel about their women.
When you go into marriage, you fully understand that a long-term commitment takes work. It will not be sunshine and roses and milk and honey every day. But at the very least, you thought that your husband has a physical attraction to you. Well, here are signs to watch for.
If you notice any of these signs your husband doesn’t find you attractive, it is time to make a change.
Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Find You Attractive
You Rarely Talk
Communication is the pillar of a healthy relationship. And even more in marriage. When you just say “Hey” when passing through the hallway, it is a bad sign. What can you do? Well, start by asking your husband about his day and some other trivial questions. You must get his attention in a conversation.
Doesn’t State His Needs
When you are the object of talking with your significant other, ask him what his needs are? Marriage is a relationship between two people learning to take care of each other. If he doesn’t share his needs anymore, he might have stopped loving you.
Ignores Your Needs
What about you? Are you communicating your needs? And he fails to acknowledge them and ignores them completely? Well, if your husband doesn’t respond to your needs, you have a problem in your marriage.
Flirts With Other Women
If you are looking for a red sign, nothing beats this. When you notice your husband flirts with other women or spends a lot of time with them, and he is not paying attention to you, the marriage is destined for failure.
You and your husband have committed to a life together. Therefore, he shouldn’t be flirting with other women in the first place.
Spends A Lot Of Time Away From Home
Someone who struggles to find his wife attractive spends a lot of time away from her. This way, he doesn’t have to deal with the issue and he might think that you will not notice the way he looks at you while at home.
Think about it. Has your husband suddenly started spending more and more time away from the house?
Doesn’t Put Effort Into The Relationship
We get it. Nobody brings his A-game and romantic gestures every day of the week. But now and then, we expect some romance and effort.
Yes, relationships tend to slow down physically as time goes on. But one thing that should never change is the effort that goes into it. And that applies even more to your marriage.
He Is Not Affectionate
Speaking about effort and trying to get you into bed, he is no longer showing affection. First, we have to stress that individuals have different needs for affection. Yes, your need might be higher than his. But if he is a non-affectionate husband at all, it is just a problem.
There is a huge concern when there is a total lack of physical affection on any side.
Spends A Lot Of Time With Friends But Doesn’t Invite You
There was a time when he took you out and show you off. But that time is way past you. Now, he goes to hang out with friends solo. He wants to have some alone time and fun with his buddies.
Yes, it is totally fine for a man to spend time with his buddies without you. But if that is happening all the time and you are no longer invited to gatherings, pay attention.
He Looks At His Phone More Than He Looks At You
How can anything on the phone be more attractive than you? Right? Yes, cell phones are everywhere. But have we become used to people having a phone in their hand to the point they do not look at us? Of course not.
There is nothing wrong with screen time. But if it happens in every conversation, date, and everything else, he is more interested in his phone than you. And that emotional attraction he had for you is no longer there.
You Do Not Talk About The Future
Yes, it is completely normal to live in the moment for a while. But the future is there and we hope to get there together, right? After all, you got married for a happily ever after, right?
Well, suddenly, those lengthy conversations about the future are no longer on the menu. And even your attempt to mention any future plans is dismissed.
You Think He Cheats On You
Well, listen to your intuition. Usually, when a man shows any of the above signs your husband doesn’t find you attractive, he might be cheating with another woman. He finds other women attractive. Yes, you can get him back. But do you want him? Do you want your cheating husband to come back?
You Fight A Lot
Every romantic relationship has its ups and downs. Fighting is part of the relationship. We all go through patches of being extra difficult.
There will be disagreements in your relationship and marriage. That is normal, as long as they do not happen too often. And most importantly, you deal with the arguments rationally.
But if you fight a lot and often, there might be a deeper and underlying issue with your romantic partner.
- Signs Of A Controlling Husband – Are You In A Toxic Relationship?
You Cannot Depend On Him
This is another obvious sign that things are not working out anymore. He doesn’t show up when he says he will. You cannot trust him when needed. Your loving husband is simply no longer dependable.
Sex Life Has Come To A Halt
This happens to most people. As we get more comfortable in our romantic relationship, the sex life slows down. We find excuses like time, exhaustion, and so on. The sexual desire and sexual attraction are now gone. And it is a concern.
If your sexual partner hasn’t initiated sex for a while, it might lower your self-esteem and confidence. It makes you feel unwanted. And it starts a whole lot of problems.
Yes, sex can stop for a while. But be honest with your romantic partner and openly talk about it. Otherwise, you might end up in a sexless marriage. You two probably had sexual chemistry before, find it again.
He Doesn’t Compliment You
The lack of physical compliments is a clear sign your husband doesn’t find you attractive anymore. Even some silly things and words of encouragement are gone.
Quality Time Feels Forced
Not making time for you is a huge issue. But sometimes, there is something even worse. And that is getting quality time that feels forced. Does it feel like he cannot wait for the date to be over?
Calls You Names
When you call your spouse names like dumb, ugly, and some other words, it is verbal abuse. There is no other way around it. You are now stuck with an abusive husband. He has changed the way he talks to you and you have to run away as fast as possible.
Doesn’t Check-in With You Throughout The Day
A quick phone call, Viber message, poke on social media, SMS, or anything else. The simplest text message involving day-to-day activities is more than enough.
How To Get The Spark Back?
We said before that you can turn the tables. You can revive the romance and get the spark back. The question is whether you want it or not. Has he cheated? Can you forgive infidelity? If there is no such thing, and he has just lost his affection for you, it is a good thing. You can bring your A-game and get his attention back.
What you are going through is quite normal. We all slump in a marriage. And we often assume it is our fault. When you feel rejected by your partner you blame yourself. Reality check: it is not completely your fault but you can change things.
When you notice these signs, spruce yourself up a little and grab his attention. Whether you like it or not, we are all visual creatures. Men even more. It might be time to put more effort into your physical appearance and get that physical attraction back.
- Put on your favorite dress
- Put on some red lipstick
- Do your hair up nice and pretty, just the way he likes it
- Make sure he sees you when he comes back from work
- Start a hobby, do not be boring
- Read a book and talk about something in it
- Find more time for yourself, that way you are not stuck together all the time
- Spice things up in the bedroom, this is a surefire way to get him excited
- Invest in some new and sexy lingerie
- Try sending him a naughty text or invite him to take a shower with you
- Add an element of excitement to your relationship
- Stay positive and refrain from chastising or lecturing your husband
- Surprise him, the element of surprise and mystery is a great tool
- Exude confidence, every man finds a confident woman attractive
- Finally, do something he enjoys together
Should You Get Help?
If you still think he is not attracted to you after everything, it is time to seek help from marriage counseling. You can try a licensed counselor or therapist, or any relationship expert. You should not stress about seeking assistance and professional help.