There are quite a few people today who won’t consider a partner who smokes. In fact, Essence reported in 2020 that a survey had found that a surprising 92% of people had concerns regarding dating a smoker. While this is clearly a widespread issue though, it doesn’t mean that if a potential partner smokes it has to be a deal-breaker. If you are really into a guy, there are reasonable ways to address smoking and try to move past it.
Let’s take a look at a few options.
Above all else, you need to be honest that it’s a problem for you. As we wrote in our “Is He My Soulmate?” article, you need to be able to be honest with someone you’re meant to be with anyway, and you should expect the same from him. Take some time to really look at the reasons why smoking is an issue with you, and then express those reasons to him. Your being honest and telling him kindly about your concerns (while avoiding an accusatory tone and wording) should help him understand your point of view and exactly what you want from him. He isn’t a mind-reader, after all!
If he acknowledges that smoking isn’t the best and is willing to give quitting a try, now’s the time to help him down that path. It’s not an easy one, but there are ways to help him stave off cravings and make progress.
Try Replacement Habits
Some habits, such as drinking water or enjoying hard candies when the cravings strike, can help your man switch from craving cigarettes to craving something else that’s less harmful. You can also use this opportunity to do some activities together: Every time a craving rears its ugly head, for instance, you both can grab some gum and try to blow the biggest bubble, or burst out in a random song to see if the other can follow along. They’re silly ideas, but you can make them perfectly cute together!
VeryWellMind has a list of habits that can replace smoking, which include eating a dill pickle (even though bread and butter pickles are infinitely better), and flossing and brushing your teeth, among many others. Check some ideas together and see if you can create a fun list of things both of you would enjoy doing together.
Trying Nicotine Substitutes
Sometimes the issue lies not in the habit of smoking, but in the physical addiction to nicotine. Since most people’s aversion to smoking has to do with the smoke itself and the way the smell sticks to everything, one solution could be using smokeless nicotine substitutes. This way, your man can still have that quick nicotine hit and wean himself off cigarettes gradually, and you get to enjoy having a smoke-free relationship, at least most of the time.
Most people already know about the older versions of nicotine alternatives, like patches, lozenges, and gum. But particularly if he viewed those options as somewhat “old-school,” you might also suggest nicotine pouches –– the emerging favorites for many trying to quit smoking because of their convenience. Also, unlike patches and some gum, they’re vaguely pleasant for the user as well. According to Prilla’s bestselling options in the pouch space, they are infused with wintergreen, coffee, citrus, and even cinnamon flavors, which some guys might actually like. Naturally, that might make him all the more likely to give them a real shot, and potentially put a real dent in his smoking habit.
Quitting Cold Turkey
This method is not for the faint of heart, but some people have success with cutting cigarettes out of their lives entirely on a specific day. According to a study written up in the Los Angeles Times, smokers who quit cold turkey were more likely to succeed in quitting long-term, as opposed to smokers who gradually weaned themselves off of cigarettes. Be prepared to stand by your man, however, as withdrawal symptoms can be wicked, and he may need your support.
While smoking can cause strain in a relationship and many aren’t willing to even start a relationship with a smoker, it doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker. If your guy is prepared and willing to try and change, it’s worth looking into some ways to help him do so. He’ll thank you later if it works, and you’ll get to avoid those cigarette-flavored kisses.